What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Is it okay for my husband to help other ladies without telling me?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Is it wise to choose your family over your honor?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Why do so many 18 to 29-year-old men struggle in dating?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Is something wrong with my discharge? So, when I masturbate, white discharge comes from my vagina, but it's not stretchy, it's pasty. It doesn't smell and I'm not itchy, so I'm sure it's not a yeast infection. Why is it pasty though?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Do you think Taylor Swift will pay a price in the marketplace for endorsing Democrats?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

According to Amy Schumer, John Cena was actually inside of her during the TrainWreck love scene. I thought that was illegal in Hollywood?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Why would my nipples hurt when I touch them?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.